By: Christelle Dorcil
I am your average middle-class suburban girl. Raised in a quiet community in Maryland, I learned in kindergarten that “Policemen Are Our Pals” and by fifth-grade was quite convinced that all lawbreakers were simply social deviants who were rightly punished by our infallible justice system. As I grew older and particularly as a law student, I quickly came to realize that this is not the case. Yet, I often still find myself thinking, “well, that was your fault for making a dumb decision,” when I read about people who get into trouble with the law. Such was my reaction when I read about rapper Clifford Harris aka “T.I.” who was arrested last October for having his bodyguard purchase three machine guns and two silencers for him. This was a federal offense because T.I. is a convicted felon, having been convicted of violating the Georgia Controlled Substances Act in 1998.
Why would anybody need one machine gun, much less three? And as a high-profile celebrity figure that’s been in trouble with the law before, wouldn’t common sense dictate that you should walk the straight and narrow path? In my mind, it was an open and shut case. Any objective, reasonable man wouldn’t have done what he did and therefore he deserved whatever the justice system decided to throw at him. After all, that’s the standard we make our laws by right? As a person who considers herself pretty reasonable, I compared his actions to what I would have done and mentally convicted him.
This past weekend however, I stumbled across his latest album and the song “Ready for Whatever”, which made me rethink the entire situation. The song is T.I.’s explanation for his actions, beginning with the first verse, his attempt to rationalize seemingly irrational behavior.
“…If ya life is in jeopardy
Everyday is you telling me
You wouldn’t need weaponry
Just because of your felonies
Consider this at least I got everybody sweating me
Homies, streets and people who won’t rest unless I rest in peace
Killed my folk a year ago still in my sleep they threaten me
Paranoia stressing me
Ain’t nobody protecting me
I’m dealing with the pressure from my partner dying next to me
Thinking no ones arrested they coming for me eventually
This all the things that I was goin’ through mentally
This could be the reason I ignored the penitentiary”
Talk about emotional complexity. Here is a man who has seen his friends and relatives killed around him, and has his life threatened on a daily basis for reasons beyond my comprehension. The fear, paranoia and stress he mentions are all emotions I can understand, but not at the level of somebody who has their life threatened continuously.
He goes on to point out traits that would seem to mitigate his actions.
I’m a father to my sons, asset to my community
Look all that I have done, my good outweigh the negativity
Mentally I was focused on not letting history repeat itself
that’s why heat was kept in that vicinity
Yes officially I broke the law, but not maliciously
Listening to him, I wonder how I would react to such statements if I were hearing them in a jury box. After all, wouldn’t I just see some egotistical rapper who thought he was above the law and could justify being involved with drugs, street violence and all sorts of other sordid behavior that seems light-years away from my tree-lined cul-de-sac? Wouldn’t I react the same way if I eventually ascended to the position of a judge or a lawmaker? For all my purported reason and objectivity, I realize that I also am emotionally skewed. The circumstances and emotions he thinks should be considered when determining his culpability are completely foreign to me, so how can I take them into account when judging him? In my mind certain things are black and white. Guns are bad. Drugs are bad. Thus, if you’re involved with guns and drugs, it logically follows that you too must be bad…right?
Now is it that hard to understand if you listen,
Either die or go to prison that’s a hell of decision
But I’m wrong and I know it, my excuses unimportant
I’m just tryna let you know that I didn’t think I had a choice, foreal…
In order to understand my train of thoughts
You’ll have to put yourself in my position
You can’t expect me to think like you cuz my life ain’t like yours
You know what I’m sayin?
Yes, T.I. actually, I do know what you’re saying. Because I certainly wouldn’t expect you to think like me or understand my life. But what I know and what you know doesn’t matter now does it? Because in the end, it’s what the legal system decides that counts. My life may not be like yours, but an accident of jury selection could render me your “peer”, fit to sit in judgment of your actions. When I sit down someday to draft a law that I believe is necessary for the protection of our communities, I will be thinking of children playing on lawns as the people that need protection, not celebrity rappers facing daily death threats. I suppose that puts you at quite the disadvantage now doesn’t it? And you’re not the only one. Welcome to the ranks of Tom Robinson and Billy Budd, victims of their own idiosyncrasy. You can rap about it, you can testify to it, you can even break down in tears at my feet and I will still remain unable to comprehend what you were feeling or thinking when you decided to purchase three machine guns and two silencers to protect yourself from the threats you perceived around you. Shouldn’t that make me unfit to judge you as you point out in your song? Maybe, but our legal system doesn’t see it that way. And until it does…either die or go to prison…that’s the choice you have to make.